4 Years
by major-rocket-fan
Summary: When something strange is happening at the Team Rocket HQ Cassidy turns to the only person she feels she can trust -but is 4 years too long to bridge the gap and get him to help? Neoshippy with rocketshippy angst later.


She had been sitting in her car outside the house for the past ten minutes trying to work up the courage to move. Why she was here she couldn't really say, but deep down inside she knew why. Just the thought of getting to see him again, after all this time made her heart flutter.  
  
'This is ridiculous!' she decided after a moment. Finally getting out of the car she strolled somewhat self-consciously up to the front door of the small house, musing over how it wasn't a totally new experience for her. She had been up this path before, past the flowers that lined it and up to the white door. These memories hit her suddenly, and the fear set in that today she would have to go that one step further and actually knock on the now looming door.  
  
It had been 4 years since that day and she gloomily noted that nothing had changed. She was still as in love with him as she always had been. As in love with him as they day they had met .. and the day they had parted. It was on this very day 4 years ago that she had realised this -the day he had left.  
  
As she stood outside the door she felt her resolve waver. 'I can't do this!' she panicked again 'I'll have to deal with this by myself. It's not his problem now' she decided, quickly turning around and moving away from the door.  
  
As she walked away her nerves began to subside, and after assuring herself that she was doing the right thing she made it back to her car. But as she placed the key in the ignition she hesitated. Could she really just go back to Headquarters and pretend everything was fine when she knew better? But then again would he help? Surely the last thing he needed was to be dragged into a life of crime again by her. But she didn't know who else to turn to. She had never been close to many people in her life and since he had left she found herself unable to open up to anyone fully -not even Jessie. She wasn't even sure if he could help .. if anyone could help .. who she could trust?  
  
But as she thought about going back to HQ knowing that something was very wrong she felt sick to her stomach. What if she disappeared next what if Mondo or even Jessie or James did? Would she be able to forgive herself? She doubted it.  
  
So getting out of the car for a second time she walked up the path and knocked at the door quickly before her nerves had a chance to regret it.  
  
She waited for what seemed like an eternity, only now looking around to see if anyone was watching her. She couldn't see anyone in the immediate area but she still felt a strange sense of unease. She banished this thought from her mind, assuring herself that she just felt uneasy about being there again. But as she turned to face the door she saw something move from the corner of her eye. Snapping her head to her left she looked down the street, but again saw nothing to justify her suspicion.  
  
Moving away from the door she scanned up and down the small street again, almost positive that someone had to be there. She was so lost in her suspicions that she didn't even notice that the door behind her had been opened until she heard his voice.  
  
"Cassidy!?"  
  
Her eyes shot open as he called her name, but she seemed to be frozen to the spot unable to turn around and face him, let alone give a reply.  
  
"Cass?" he asked quietly, this time his voice etched with concern.  
  
Realising she had to face him she turned around slowly. "Hi" she finally replied lamely.  
  
He smiled slightly; seemingly ignoring her complete lack of etiquette "What are you doing here?" he questioned, still with that same smile on his face.  
  
Her nerves were still very much on edge as she looked down the street one last time "C-Can I come in?" she spoke, her voice betraying her fear.  
  
His expression immediately fell, as he realised that this wasn't going to be the happy reunion he had hoped for "Sure" he nodded, stepping aside so that she could enter.  
  
Moving past him she entered the small living room area of the house, immediately walking over to the large main window. Pulling back the curtain hesitantly she looked out.  
  
Butch looked at her, more than slightly confused at her actions. "Cassidy, what's wrong? Is someone following you?" he asked moving close to her side and trying to look at the expression on her face.  
  
Upon finding no one in the street she let the curtain drop back into place. She sighed, knowing that he probably thought she had lost her mind "I don't' know .." she replied uncertainly.  
  
Butch had never seen her like this before and it worried him. It may have been 4 years since he last saw her but he still considered her his closest friend. His decision to leave the team and in effect leave her had not been an easy one. There had been various times when he had regretted leaving but he knew that a life of crime was not one he wanted to follow forever.  
  
Looking back sometimes he was unsure as to why he had even joined Team Rocket, but as he looked at his ex-partner he remembered all too well his reasons.  
  
"Is everything okay?" he asked after a moment, unable to tell from her expression what was going on. He used to be able to tell in a second what she was thinking about just by looking at her .. but it had been so long ..  
  
"Yeah" she whispered, trying desperately not to look up into his eyes.  
  
"Cassidy, what's going on? You're starting to worry me now"  
  
She looked up at him for the first time, noting instantly how different he looked. 'he looks so much older' she thought to herself sadly, 'its been too long'  
  
"Butch" she began, sighing slightly, knowing that she really shouldn't be there. "I need your help"  
  
"Then you've got it" he replied, without hesitation "Now tell me what's going on?"  
  
Sitting down on the sofa behind him, he motioned for her to sit down. As she sat he subconsciously glanced at his watch  
  
"What is it?" she questioned, noticing his eye movement  
  
"Nothing, don't worry about it" he replied airily. It was only after she shot him a questioning look that he admitted the truth "I should be at work, that's all. It's not important Cass. Just tell me how I can help"  
  
She looked at him strangely and noticed for the first time why he seemed different .. it was the look in his eyes. It was still Butch, but somehow he had changed, she could see that now.  
  
"You can't help me," she whispered after a moment, getting up from the sofa  
  
Panicking he stood up with her, determined not to let her leave. "Cassie, please, I'm sorry. Whatever it is I will help, the job's not important"  
  
"It's not the job Butch, it's you"  
  
"I don't understand Cass, what's me?"  
  
She sighed not really knowing if or how she could explain her feelings "I was a fool to think I could come here and it would be exactly the same as it was"  
  
Turning away from him, she made it to the front door before he caught her arm, forcing her back around to face him one last time.  
  
"It can be the same Cassie, I'll change .. I'll do whatever it takes. Please Cass .." He paused looking pleadingly into her eyes, "I miss you".  
  
She smiled sadly at his show of affection and reached her hand up to stroke the side of his face slightly "You're a good man Butch" she whispered before pulling her hand away "Stay that way" and with that she was gone.  
  
  
  
Sitting down heavily Butch cursed himself, becoming increasingly annoyed as he sat there. What in the hell had just happened? She turns up on his doorstep after 4 years and runs out after 5 minutes!? As he pondered this thought he found his anger turning more and more towards her. 4 years of ignoring his calls, his letters and when she finally turns up it's only because she needs a favour!?  
  
They had been best friends for more years than he could remember and their parting had hurt him more than he had ever let on to anyone. He knew she hadn't taken it as well as she outwardly appeared but couldn't she see that they couldn't stay that way forever? Didn't she understand that he wanted more from his life than stealing Pokemon? At the time she seemed to. She had told him to leave, to go and live his life the way he wanted, he remembered her exact words; 'whatever makes you happy' she had told him.  
  
He had often thought about that phrase in the years since they had parted. Looking around his small house he laughed bitterly at the irony of that statement. He had the job, the house, the legal lifestyle .. but happy? Happy was not something he had felt in a long time. Something he thought he would never feel again until 10 minutes ago when he opened the door and saw her standing there. Just in that brief second he realised what had been missing from his life, why he hadn't felt complete .. it was her.  
  
Her had always loved her and he could see that now. Secretly he had always hoped that there was a possibility that she had felt the same way about him, that one day she would turn up on his doorstep and profess her love, but after a year of being ignored and seemingly forgotten he had dismissed these thoughts as nothing more than a ridiculous fantasy.  
  
He thought of how she had changed in the 4 years. She seemed more beautiful than he had remembered, and his heart almost ground to a halt at the thought of never seeing her again. Now that he had seen her he wasn't sure if he could switch off again, tell his heart that it didn't still care about her deeply -thinking now he wasn't even sure how he had managed to keep going for so long without seeing her.  
  
He needed to see her again, that much he was sure of .. he couldn't and wouldn't spend the rest of his life pining over what they could have had. He was going to find her and tell her everything -no matter what the consequences.  
  
To be continued..  
  
  
  
Well that was long and boring huh? But please review anyway. Criticism is accepted but I'd appreciate it if it was at least constructive. Thanks ^_^ 


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